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If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'

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Haters are just confused admirers.

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Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.

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Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.

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Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.

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Good things don't always have to come to an end.

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Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.

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I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.

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Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

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NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.

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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.

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Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.

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If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.

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Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.

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Shit happens bro. Now get over it.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.