If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
You know it's going to be a great story when its starts off with, "So this b*tch!..."
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Take it easy, give it hard.
If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
