Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
The last thing I want to do is die.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
