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The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

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I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.

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Good things don't always have to come to an end.

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I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

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I eat problems, then shit out success.

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Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.

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Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.

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If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'

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24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.

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I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.

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Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.

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Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.

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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

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Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.

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Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.

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You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.

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Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.

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Everybody spread positivity.