The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.
Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
