The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
The greatest part of being imperfect, is being perfect at it.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
Trust in God but lock your car.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
