Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
