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My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.

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Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places

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Patience gets you everywhere on time.

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Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.

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We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.

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Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.

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The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.

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Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.

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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.

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I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.

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Winners do what other people won't.

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My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.

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If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.

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Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.

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You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.

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It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.