My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.