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2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.

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Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.

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I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.

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Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.

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Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.

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I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?

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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

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You do not learn anything by doing everything right.

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After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.

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May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.

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True friends aren't bought, they are earned.

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If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

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Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.

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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.

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Shit happens bro. Now get over it.

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Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.

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Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.

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My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.