It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Perception is everything.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
The ultimate price you pay is nothing but time.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Haters are just confused admirers.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
