It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
Love needs to get glasses.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
