My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
Real eyes realize real lies.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
