Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Mario: An Italian plumber that was created by Japanese people, who speaks English, but looks like a Mexican.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
