So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
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