So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
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