So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Haters are just confused admirers.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.