So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
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