So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.