So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.