So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Love needs to get glasses.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
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