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I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.

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When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.

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If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

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Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.

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I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.

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The notion that you feel my pain is extremely uncertain. You have to apply the experience and pain of my life in order to come to this road.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.

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I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.

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Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.

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I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.

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Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.

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If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.

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Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.

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Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

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If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.

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Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

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Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.