I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
I hate when I'm on the couch after a long day, I put the TV on and then my family starts having a competition of who can be the loudest.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
