I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Make money, don't let it make you.
