I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
