I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
I want to go to Heaven for the climate, and Hell for the company.
Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
The last thing I want to do is die.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
