When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
The human heart is like a spring, to bounce back from pitfalls and rise to joys, and it definitely needs space.
Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
