When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
Always remember to smile.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Be man enough to accept the consequences, be child enough to do it anyway.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
Don't trip over bitches, walk over them.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
