When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
Everybody thinks that a girl's dream is to find the perfect guy. Yeah right, our dream is to EAT WITHOUT GETTING FAT!
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
