Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
