Don't judge a book by its movie.
An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
