Don't judge a book by its movie.
Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
I'm sorry you had bad luck and turned out to be an idiot.
