You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
I'm not addicted to Twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time, any time, all the time.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
