You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
