You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
Know one cares how much you know, unless they know how much you care.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
Homework: Do me do me. Internet: Don't listen to that slut.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.
