You have ONE advantage over me, you can kiss my ass and I can't.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
Gravity is not the reason why people fall in love.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
