I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
We just have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in our hearts....even if they don't stay in our lives.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Those awkward karate chops you give door just incase it shocks you.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Chuck Norris has three types of laundry...whites, darks and blood stained.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
