Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
Fall in love with my mind.
The last thing I want to do is die.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Chuck Norris was bit by a poisonous snake. After 5 days of excruciating pain, the snake died.
Real eyes realize real lies.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
