Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
You don't have to understand to be understanding.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things that women remember.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
I will love you until the end. If you feel that I don't love you, this is just the beginning.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Be positive for no reason.
If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
