Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Some take the bait, others reel it in.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
