Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
Winners do what other people won't.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.
If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
Jesus can walk on water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.
