Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
