God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Perception is everything.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Everybody is a student for life.
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
It sucks that you can't photoshop that personality too, bitch.
