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God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.

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You live and you learn.

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That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.

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Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

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A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.

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Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.

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If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.

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Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

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We put the "us" in trust, baby.

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I miss you like an idiot misses the point.

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When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.

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Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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Mom: What do you think I am, made of money? Daughter: Isn't that what MOM stands for?

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Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.

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Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.

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This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".

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You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.

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Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.