God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
Chuck Norris puts the "fun" in "Funeral".
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
If you can't be a good example then at least be a horrible warning.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
