God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
You live and you learn.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
