Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
