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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."

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He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.

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Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!

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We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.

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A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.

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You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

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.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I

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Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

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Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.

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I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.

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When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

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I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.

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Cool story bro, changed my life.

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KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.

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I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.

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Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.

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When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.

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I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.