Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
Be positive for no reason.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Take it easy, give it hard.
You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
Patience gets you everywhere on time.
You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
