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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.

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I don't make the same mistake twice....I make it 5 or 6 times just to make sure.

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Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.

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Physiological fact: emotional pain lasts for twelve minutes, anything else is self inflicted.

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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.

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We're all born screaming, naked, and starving...then it's pretty much downhill from there.

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I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.

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Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.

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You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.

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I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.

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There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

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If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.

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Born to be different, like everyone else.

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Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.

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No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

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My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.