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Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...

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My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.

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You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

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Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

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NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.

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I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.

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Real eyes realize real lies.

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

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If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.

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When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.

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Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.

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Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.

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You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

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Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.

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The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.

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Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.

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Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.

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You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.