WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
If your life is so shitty maybe you should wipe your ass better.
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
Be positive for no reason.
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
