WORRY looks around. REGRET looks back. FAITH looks forward.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
I don't know what's worse. Guys who refer to girls as b*tches, or the girls who actually respond to it.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
Haters make you famous.
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.
When life throws a rock at you, throw back a brick.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
I don't hate school. I just hate the teachers, the homework, the exams and waking up early in the morning.
