Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Trust in God but lock your car.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.
