I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Thanks wind, you totally raped my hair.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Everybody is a student for life.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
The last thing I want to do is die.
I will stop loving you when the mute guy tells the deaf guy that the blind guy saw a legless man walk on water, yeah that means never.
Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
