I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
A pretty girl is nothing with an ugly attitude.
Each morning when we wake up, we have two choices: go back to sleep and keep dreaming, or wake up and chase those dreams.
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
