When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.
It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I'm gonna go take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.
Giving up does not always mean you're weak, sometimes it just means your strong enough to let go.
The word 'studying' was made up of two words originally - 'students dying'.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Teacher: Why can I hear talking? Student: Because you have ears.
