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When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".

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I swear to drunk I'm not god.

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Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

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When your best friend comes to you with a bitch problem and you're like"I don't give a fuck."

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When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.

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Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.

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There are two kinds of secrets: one is not worth keeping and the other is too good to keep.

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We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.

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Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.

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If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.

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You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

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Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

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If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.

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Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.

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There's no such thing as good girls gone bad, only bad girls found out.

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Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.