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When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".

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Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.

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Auto-correct can kiss my ask.

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No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.

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Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.

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A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.

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My foot just fell asleep. I think I'm gonna kick it with your face to wake it up.

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To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.

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If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?

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I'm a bitch? You're a bitch. Your mom's a bitch for having a bitch, your dad's a bitch for fucking a bitch. Now who's the bitch, bitch?

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Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

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Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.

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Cool story bro. You should get it in Oprah's book club.

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Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.

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Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".

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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

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Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.