When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
Take chances, make mistakes, and don't regret a second of life.
If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, then lets get wasted and have the time of our lives.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
Finding the meaning to life gives life no meaning.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Nice shoes! Wanna screw?
