When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Perception is everything.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
Definition of disappointment: guy runs into a wall with a boner and breaks his nose first...
My brain: 5% names, 3% phone numbers, 2% stuff I should know for school, 90% song lyrics.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
That moment when your mum shouts your name so you do a quick recap of all the things you've done recently to see if you're in trouble.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
