We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
The last thing I want to do is die.
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
Negativity is poison for the soul.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.
Right things happen at the wrong time if you wait for them to happen.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
