You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
What you call dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.
Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
That awkward moment when you walk through the metal detectors at the airport, and your abs of steel set them off.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
