You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
When a teacher sends you outside you have successfully won the argument.
The awkward moment when Edward and Santa bump into each other in your room because they're both watching you sleep.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.
I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
