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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?

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I would kick your ass right now, but that would be animal abuse.

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Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.

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Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.

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I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.

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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.

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Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.

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If we're not supposed to have late night snacks....why is there a light in the fridge?

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If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.

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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

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The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.

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To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!

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There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.

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Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.

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Wherever you go, there you are.

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2013: The year when the movie 2012 will be moved from the action section, to comedy section.