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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.

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How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes

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You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.

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Single doesn't always mean lonely and Relationship doesn't always mean happy.

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Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

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When single you see happy couples. When in a relationship you see happy singles.

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Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.

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Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.

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That awkward moment when it's not okay after an apology.

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When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.

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You're only as good as your last game.

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I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.

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I don't have an attitude problem. You have a problem with my attitude, and that's not my problem.

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Never count on tomorrow because it may forget to show up.

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Trust in God but lock your car.

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May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.

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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

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It's weird not to be weird.