You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
I go to bed late every night and I realize it was bad idea every morning.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
I have a lot of time on my hands when I'm wearing two watches.
In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
That awkward moment when sluts wear clothes.
KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
Next time someone says "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me" I'm gonna throw the dictionary at them.
Be kind and courteous to everyone you meet but have a plan to kill them quickly if necessary.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.