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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.

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A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

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I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.

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Auto-correct can kiss my ask.

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My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.

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A soulmate is meeting the piece of you that is missing. It's undeniable and scary, but you feel lost without it.

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Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

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Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.

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Aspire to inspire before you expire.

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My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.

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The awkward moment when people are complaining about the sizes of their nose when Voldemort's in the room.

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Mephobia. The fear of becoming so awesome that everyone dies.

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We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.

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Life isn't about staying dry, it's about learning how to play in the rain.

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Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.

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Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.