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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.

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Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

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If your not going to win the argument, lie.

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Haters are just confused admirers.

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The world is full of guys, be a man.

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When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

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Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.

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Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

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I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.

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Winners do what other people won't.

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Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.

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Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.

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If there was only woman ruling the word there would be no wars. Just a bunch of countries jealous of each other.

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I bet Osama Bin Laden regrets coming out of hiding to watch the Royal Wedding.

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.

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A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.