Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
From a girl's point of view, the guy always chooses the slut. From a boy's point of view, the girl always chooses the jerk.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
I'm not getting drunk. I'm getting awesome.
Love needs to get glasses.
You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.
If you text me first, it's your job to keep the conversation going!
24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
You should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
Some people just need a high-five. To the face. With a chair.
Always remember to smile.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
I can only endure saying goodbye because saying hello again will be all the sweeter.
Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
