Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
I'm not stupid, I'm just not thinking straight right now.
I didn't lose my sanity. I sent it away for its own protection.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
You live and you learn.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
