Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
You can't define love, but love can define you.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
Its the scars that can't be seen that take the longest to heal.
Act like a gentleman, think like a boss.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
Trust in God but lock your car.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Immaturity keeps me young.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
