Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
Girls are like aspirin. I take two and go to bed.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
