It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.
"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.
Everything will be alright in the end, if its not alright, its not the end.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
You live and you learn.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
