It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
We are bestfriends. Always remember that when you fall, I'll pick you up. After I finish laughing.
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
If you watch Jaws backwards, its about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
I eat problems, then shit out success.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
