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It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.

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Always remember to smile.

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I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

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A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.

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Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.

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Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.

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There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.

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So my life has reached the point where I've stopped asking "Why me!?" and started asking "Oh, again?"

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Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.

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Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.

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You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.

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Cool story bro, now go make me a sandwich.

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The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.

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I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.

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Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

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You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.