It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
I'm tired of girls complaining that theres no good guys left...hello..we are where you left us, IN THE FRIEND ZONE.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
S_CCESS can't be complete without U.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Winners don't wait for chances, they grab them.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
