It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Some women can't find a GOOD MAN cause they're too busy looking for a PERFECT MAN.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
I didn't fall, I just caught the floor.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
Cry over cuts and stitches not bastards and bitches.
If you can't change your circumstances, change the way you respond to them.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
