It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
A good friend buys you lunch. A true friend eats yours.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
Cool story bro, changed my life.
Got an issue? Get a tissue.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
No one said it would be easy but I'm saying it's going to be worth it.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
