It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follow.
Everybody is a student for life.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
If karma doesn't knock you out soon, I will.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
If you can't beat them, taze them.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Brushing your teeth before breakfast, is the same as wiping your ass before taking a shit.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Immaturity keeps me young.
