Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
I know the beginning and end of this book but what shapes life are the chapters between.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
You can be worthless to someone, but priceless to another.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
I'm thinking of a finger, and it's not 1, 2, 4, or 5.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Dreams lift when reality falls.
He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
A man can sweep any woman off her feet, he just needs the right broom.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
