Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
