Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
The awkward moment when you realize that people are really laughing at you, not with you.
If most people said what was on their minds, they'd be speechless.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
Do you work at Subway? Cause you just gave me a footlong.
Don't wait for the perfect moment, take the moment and make it perfect.
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
