Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
You cannot fathom the amount of fuck I do not give.
Don't judge a book by its movie.
Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
If you want to look young and thin, hang out around fat old people.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
When all fails, kamikaze and take everyone with you.
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
