Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Don't erase your haters, embrace your haters.
Good things don't always have to come to an end.
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Bombing for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday, and when its not my birthday.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
If you were my homework I'd do you on the table.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
