I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Baby, I treat you like my homework, I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Procrastination is like masturbation....you're only screwing yourself.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
Ladies, the only time it is okay to be skeleton skinny is when you are dead. So eat the frigging cookie and enjoy it.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
Did you just slap my ass? NO!? Damn I was hoping you did.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
