I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
You'll never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
I'm not a nerd, I'm just smarter then you.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
F that B.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
