I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
The last thing I want to do is die.
Today is the Tomorrow we worried about Yesterday.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.
F that B.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
