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I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.

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If being sexy were against the law you'd be guilty as charged.

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NO MUM. You're mad because you're wrong not because I was talking back.

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Research shows that 90% of men don't know how to use condom, these people are called DADS.

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My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.

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I hate people who are lazy. They're so lazy, they don't even finish their own

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When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".

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We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.

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I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

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Say what you mean and mean what you say because the people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter.

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Always remember to smile.

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The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.

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Man: created by God, destroyed by a women.

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The awkward moment when someone is yelling at you and you're desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.

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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

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Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.

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Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.

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My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.