I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
If you find yourself using the expression "haters gonna hate" a lot, there's a better than average chance you're a douchebag.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
The world needs less people that judge and more people that love.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
The awkward moment when you're eavesdropping on a strangers conversation and accidentally laugh out loud at a funny part.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
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