I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
My grandma is 80 and she still doesn't need glasses... she drinks straight out of the bottle.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Haters make you famous.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.
Don't let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
I'm invisible, can you see me? Yeah? How about tomorrow night?
I love that whenever we speak I have no idea what to say or how to feel.
Imagine how different your life would be if you said literally everything that was on your mind.
Haters hate because they are what you ain't.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Cool story bro, tell it again and I'll punch you.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
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