I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Karma's a bitch when you're a bitch.
Don't waste electricity, would you like it if I turned you on and walked away?
Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly.
The more pictures you post of your pet the more lonely you are. It's science.
It's better to be the owner of your silence than the slave of your words.
You're only as good as your last game.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
Sex is like money. It's only a problem when you don't have any.
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
Testing boys by not responding to their txts to see if they'll txt you again.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
Take it easy, give it hard.