I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
When I'm bored, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.
I'm not giving you an hour, or a second, or another minute longer. I'm busy getting stronger.
Haters make you famous.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
I'm not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, I already have one.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes... That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
Wherever you go, there you are.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them a second bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
Cool story bro. The best part is when you stopped talking.
I swear to drunk I'm not god.
I know I just met you last week but I kinda, sorta, just maybe, seriously have been curiously thinking about you every day since.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
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