I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Today I went on thesaurus.com and searched "ninjas". The computer told me "Ninjas cannot be found". Well played, ninjas, well played.
It is true that there is no "I" in team. But there is an "I" in win.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.
Coughing in front of smokers to make them feel guilty.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Some people should be high-fived...in the face.
Everyone keeps telling me how fun Angry Birds is, but I've been insulting my parakeet all week and he just seems hurt.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
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