I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
You never know how precious it is until you lose it. And you never know how annoying it is until you have it.
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
I put the laughter in manslaughter.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Lifes a bitch....so when life sucks just sit back and enjoy the head.
You know you love her when people think you're crazy.
Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
You do not learn anything by doing everything right.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
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