I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
I wish I was as much of a morning person as my penis is.
Treat every problem as your dog would: If you can't eat it, fuck it or piss on it, then walk away.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
Kim Jong Il's last words. "Hey, you're Chuck Nor....."
What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'
I don't watch any reality TV because I seriously can't afford to hate society any more than I already do.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
If you're good at something, don't do it for free.