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Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.

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The world is full of guys, be a man.

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Sadly some boys think of girls as books; If the cover doesn't catch their eye they don't bother to read whats inside.

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Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.

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Life is a bitch, but totally do-able.

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Take it easy, give it hard.

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Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)

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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

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When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".

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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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You can't buy love....but you pay heavily for it.

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The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.

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When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.

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Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.

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Make money, don't let it make you.

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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.

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I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.