Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
My middle finger gets a boner when I think of you.
If she talks to you about everyone then she must talk to everyone about you.
Cool story bro. Put it in the history books with all the other boring sh*t I don't care about.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
The awkward moment when you're on a bouncy castle and you fall down and the other bitches on there wont stop jumping so u can't get back up.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Life sucks. But what it sucks on we may never know.
A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.
Most people are still alive because its illegal to shoot them.
Never frown, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
