I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
I know I have friends and I know I have enemies. I just can't tell who is who.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
My ideal mate is someone like you, but with a different personality and with a different face.
Love needs to get glasses.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.
Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Fight poverty. Throw stones at beggers.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
Everyone and everything eventually becomes only just a memory.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
