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I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.

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"**** ***** is now friends with ****** ****** and 64 other people" damn....what a Facebook whore.

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You can spend your life avoiding your dreams, but everynight you go to sleep.

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It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.

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I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.

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I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.

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Aspire to inspire before you expire.

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Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O

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Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.

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Sometimes I look at people and think: That sperm actually won?

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.

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The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.

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Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

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It's hard to talk face to face, when your head is up your ass.

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24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.

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Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard

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Don't tell me the rules if you can't even play the game.

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Two things I hate the most: (1) The new lover of an EX (2) The EX of a new lover.