I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.
I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Fall in love with my mind.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
The awkward moment when somebody asks you what's wrong and they're the problem.
I went up to my moms face and screamed " I WANT FOOD !!! " Until I got slapped in the face
I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.
You inspire me to be a better pervert.
