I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Its much easier to apologize then it is to get permission.
The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
We put the "us" in trust, baby.
Wild hearts can't be broken.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
The awkward moment when the world doesn't end on December 21st 2012, and a lot of girls end up being pregnant.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.
If you aren't good at lying, you better be good at keeping secrets.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
The awkward moment when you politely decline food at a friends house and immediately regret the decision afterwards.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
