I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Annoying moment: When you decide to be angry at someone for a week and the next morning, the anger you felt so strong, disappears.
I swear Mario is a hobo! he wakes up wearing the same clothes, runs in sewers, and steals coins. To buy what. MUSHROOMS?
Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
11.24265336624% of people pay too much attention to details.
If I'm weird with you, I'm comfortable with you.
The awkward moment when teacher cracks a joke and no one laughs.
Haters make you famous.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
Alarm Clocks, because every morning should begin with a heart attack.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
