I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
If you got haters, you must be doing something right.
Not everyone's gonna understand you and that's ok.
I tried to send you the most sexy thing on the planet, but the mail man told me to get out of the mailbox.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
Don't allow someone to be your priorty while allowing yourself to be there option.
Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
If your not going to win the argument, lie.
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
God made Heaven and Earth, the rest was made in China.
Admit it! At one point in your life you closed the fridge really slowly to see when the light turns off.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Here's a condom so that you can have protection while you go fuck yourself. :)
