I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Negativity is poison for the soul.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Why is a school zone 20mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
You never realize how offensive your music is until your parents are sitting in the passenger seat.
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
So you're the bitch that told the bitch that I'm a bitch well listen bitch it takes a bitch to know a bitch, bitch.
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
You live and you learn.
I study for minutes and take breaks for hours.
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
Boys will break your heart, Real men will pick up the pieces.
