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I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.

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"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.

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Love me always, love me never, but don't love me sometimes.

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I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.

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Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.

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Jingle bells, Twilight smells, Edward ran away, Bella died, Jacob cried, POTTER ALL THE WAY!!

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Women want one man to fulfill their every need. Men want every woman to fulfill their one need.

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After Mondays and Tuesdays even the calender says WTF.

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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

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Haters hate because they are what you ain't.

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Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.

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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

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May the bridges I burn today, light the path tomorrow.

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Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.

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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

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I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...

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Sex burns 25.7 calories per minute, with that being said, wanna work out?