I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Truth can stand on its own, only lies require faith.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 52 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Life is a case of spoon or be spooned.
Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I didn't say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
When we hit our lowest point, We are open to the greatest changes.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
If at first you don't succeed..... CHEAT!
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
Relationship status: Thank god there are 2 TVs in this house.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
