I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
Ran into my ex last week... backed up and ran over his ass again.
Don't punish the man in front of you for the mistakes made by the man behind you.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Would you like a table? ... "No, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground, a carpet for 5 please." -_-
You need over 60 muscles to look angry and less then 10 to smile, so why tire yourself?
If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, 'In Jesus name, amen'
Rappers always talk about robbing people in their songs, thats why I download all their songs for free. Payback!
A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
Immaturity keeps me young.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Face your problems, don't facebook them.
Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.
Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.
I have moments of brilliance and hours of stupidity.
Me: *sneeze* Class: *silence*. Popular girl: *sneeze* Class: God bless you amazing and lovely sweetheart.
