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I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.

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Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.

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Who you are, who you want to be, and who you once were can be three different people.

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You can't define love, but love can define you.

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Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.

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That awkward moment when your in class then your stomach decides to make this dying whale's voice.

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You don't like my opinion, wait until you hear the ones I keep to myself.

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Everything becomes funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.

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Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.

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It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...

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An apple a day may keep the doctor away - but all these Macbooks are getting expensive.

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If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.

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Fall in love with my mind.

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Those who live by the sword are bound to be shot by those who don't.

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That sad moment when you find an old conversation between you and someone you don't talk to anymore.

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Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

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The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy and girl who loved each other. Then a slut came and ruined everything. The end.

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You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.