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Women don't want to hear what you think, women want to hear what they think, in a deeper voice.

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If we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket...I'd miss u heaps and think of you often.

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A relationship with NO TRUST is like a car with no gasoline. You can stay in it all you want but it won't go anywhere.

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Laughter is a better way to bring tears to the eyes.

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Don't look back. You'll miss what's in front of you.

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I think 'First Response' and 'Plan B' should switch names.

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When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

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When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

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I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.

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I always wanted to be someone. I see now that I should have been more specific.

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Love always costs more than you can afford, but its always worth the price.

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If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?

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I think therefore I am, we think therefore it is.

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Smart girls open their mind, easy girls open their legs, and foolish girls open their heart.

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When staring someone in the eyes, u wait for them to stare back at you.

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I hate when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.

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Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.

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You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

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Don't wait for anybody to complete you.