Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
Don't let the world change your smile, let your smile change the world.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
I'm not an alchoholic, I'm a drunk. Alchoholics go to meetings.
The people who know the least about you, always have the most to say.
Hurting someone with the truth is better than killing them with a lie.
Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package.
Laughing is when a smile has an orgasm.
A girl looks at what a man drives. A woman looks at what drives a man.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
If I got a nickel every time I told my wife I loved her....I'd have a nickel.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
Off; the general direction in which I wish you would fuck.
When life blows sometimes the best thing you can be is a dick.
Just because your smart doesn't mean your wise.
That awkward moment when you don't die on Dec 21 and your kid asks you why he was born on Sept 21.
