Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
Auto-correct can kiss my ask.
"Dude, that song is old." Sorry, I didn't notice the expiry date.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.
You're only as good as your last game.
Science has made us gods even before we are worthy of being men.
Those who like me, raise your hand. Those who don't, raise your standards.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.
When your mum decides to be in the room while you're on the computer so you just switch to Google and just stare at it.
Be what you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.
If it put a smile on my face, there is no reason to regret.
When someone says "It's getting hot in here" I automatically think, "So take off all your clothes".
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
Shit happens bro. Now get over it.
