People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.
Tip to reduce weight: Turn your head to the left then turn to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Never close a door that someone still holds a key to.
Your actions are speaking so loudly, I cannot hear what you are saying.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
It's half water, and half air. So really, the glass is never half empty.
I say excuse me when I burp even when nobody is around....true gentleman.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
When you're sober you think twice before you speak but when you're drunk you speak twice before you think.
Today was a beautiful day. Then you showed up.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of bill payments.
I know they say the first love is the sweetest, but that first cut is the deepest.
I really need you to, put the camera down and step away from the mirror.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
