People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
How much coke did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
It's hard to answer "what's wrong", when nothing is right...
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
How the hell does Freddy Kruger wipe his ass?
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
2011: Cool story, bro. 1836: Interesting tale, my fine companion.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Hello substitute teacher... Goodbye assigned seats.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
The lottery: voluntary taxation.
You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
Life is not measured by the amount of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
