People are stupid, with random moments of brilliance.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
Everyday the sun rises, but it doesn't shine until you wake up.
I love using big words to sound smart. I mean utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
History always has a way of repeating itself, bad or good, a perfect circle.
Just like every president has a teleprompter, every idiot has a cameraman.
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet connection.
Bought a CD of ice cream van music. Now I drive with the stereo on full blast, watching the disappointment on all the little kids faces.
Love is calling back regardless of how many times they hangup on you.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
The awkward moment when someones yelling at you and your desperately trying not to laugh at their angry face.
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If someone tries to bring you down it means that you are higher than them.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
I will still love you when you're no longer young and beautiful.
That awkward moment when your pet is staring at you naked...
