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Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Shit happens bro. Now get over it.

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I told my ex I felt like killing her, and she said I needed professional help, So I hired a hitman.

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Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too, bitch.

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You said what you said and you said what you said, so what you said is what you said.

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I couldn't help but notice that awesome ends with 'me' and ugly starts with 'u'.

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If I don't answer your first call, calling me 39971629829202 times won't make me pick up.

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Facebook is for for friends who are now strangers, Twitter is for strangers who should be your friends.

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Don't judge a book by its movie.

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Short answers silent treatment not smiling = You did something wrong.

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Make money, don't let it make you.

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Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.

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I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot.

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If they dont chase you when you walk away....keep walking.

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I've gone bankrupt a few times and it's pretty scary. But eventually I make it to the ATM and get more money.

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If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

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Every woman is beautiful, it just takes the right man to see it.

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Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?