Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
A successful man is one that can make more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
You know you're getting old when people start telling you how young you look.
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist.
Behind every girls favorite song, is an untold story.
Everyone thinks that: Its every girl's dream to find the perfect guy....in fact its every girl's dream to eat without getting fat.
Boyfriends are like goal keepers. Just because they are there doesn't mean you can't score.
I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
You got enemies, good that means you stood up for something.
Nice guys finish last, that is because they put their girls first.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
No really officer, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Ohh, that sounds kinda harsh. I better add a 'lol'.
It's not how much you love someone that matters, it's how much you make them feel loved.
Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge, trust me, it hurts less.
Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.
Teacher: "DO YOU WANT TO SPEND LUNCH IN MY CLASS?!" Me: Are you asking me out? O_O
