Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
I hate when I'm tired and sleepy, but when I go to bed my body says "Just kidding."
Every day you will meet a moron; if you haven't met one today, tomorrow you'll meet two.
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Chuck Norris made orange juice concentrate.
The awkward moment when you're about to hug somebody sexy and then headbutt the mirror....
Life is like a penis, when it gets hard, fuck it.
My life without you would be like a broken pencil. Pointless.
I'm your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
We always start with completing the difficult. It just takes us a little longer to do the impossible.
Born to be different, like everyone else.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
I love you more than a fat kid loves cake.
Don't wait for anybody to complete you.
You look at them. They look at you. You look away. Awkward.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Disappointments are just God's way of saying: "I've got something better." Be patient, live life, have faith.
.sdrawkcab siht daer uoy edam I
