Eventually people will realize that mistakes are meant for learning not repeating.
Never lie to someone who trusts you. Never trust someone who lies to you.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
Kiss me if I'm wrong, but is your name Susan?
Life is not what you take of it, but what you make of it.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
You are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Fucking act like it.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
True friends aren't bought, they are earned.
Haters are just confused admirers.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
I love walking in the rain 'cause no one can see me crying.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Last night I dreamt I was eating a giant marshmallow...when I woke up my pillow was gone.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
Whatever floats your boat as long, as it doesn't sink mine.
Boobs. That's all, just like this if you like boobs.
