Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
You don't need some one to complete you, you just need someone to accept you completely...
Take my advice, don't listen to my advice.
"Dude that song is old"...."Well so is your mom....but you still listen to her."
If we only attempt that which we are capable of doing, we will never grow.
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
Take it easy, give it hard.
Men are like parking lots; all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
The awkward moment when a guy has bigger boobs than you.
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
To catch me, you gotta be fast. To find me, you gotta be smart. To be me? Sh*t! You gotta be kidding!
Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
