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Roses are red. Violets are blue! Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.

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If you can't convince them, confuse them.

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I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.

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Chuck Norris will never die of a heart attack because his heart isn't that foolish to attack him.

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Don't wait for anybody to complete you.

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What's the most successful pickup line ever? A: 'Does this smell like chloroform?'

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Dear 'K', You should get arrested for killing conversations.

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Laughing at the person because the joke was a fail.

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Have you ever noticed that when you walk into a spider web you suddenly become a ninja?

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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

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When life puts you in tough situations don't say "WHY ME?", just say "TRY ME".

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Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

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Don't make me mad then tell me to calm down. Thats like stabbing someone then wondering why they're bleeding.

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KEEP YOUR HEAD HIGH, and you're middle finger HIGHER.

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Cool story bro. Publish it and sell it to someone who gives a shit.

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You never how much is enough until you know how much is too much.

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You can pay for school, but you can't buy class.

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Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I most need it.

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Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.