A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
I'm a very nice person...but for you I'll make an exception.
If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman who learns her place.
Stubbing your toe and telling the inanimate object to f*ck off.
I hate when I walk into a room, forget what I need, walk out and then remember.
When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
Life is like a penis. It's short, but seems so long when it gets hard
Charlie Sheen just set record for 'fastest time to reach a million Twitter followers.' Not his only speed record.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
Whenever I use "Thus" in a essay, I feel like motherfucking Shakespeare.
It isn't till you've lost everything that you are free to do anything.
I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.
I'm experiencing Deja Vu and Amnesia at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before...
You can hold on to a person but not a relationship.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except marriage, marriage will kill you.
Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.
Regret lasts longer than fear.
Don't hate me because I'm better than you, hate yourself because you're not as good as me.
