A rumor goes in one ear, then out of many mouths.
Your a boy, I'm a girl. So tell me again why we aren't dating?
Until a man finds something to die for, he has nothing to live for.
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
I would love you if love meant the complete opposite of what it means today.
When I'm always in my room; parents complain. When I go out; parents complain.
If all MEN are the same, why do WOMEN take so long to choose one?
Life's not a bitch, you're the bitch because your not trying hard enough.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water, I can walk on ice. Therefore, I'M 100% JESUS BITCHES.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
I'm not single. I'm in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
When someone says they have to ask you a question, you think of all the bad things you've done recently.
This duct tape makes everything you say sound like "yes".
Cockiness is just confidence without confidence.
Cool story bro. Yeah your mums in the next chapter.
Pickles are just cucumbers soaked in evil.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
Live everyday like it's your last because someday you will be right.
