Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
Dear Bull, What did I do to deserve so much shit?
Cool story bro. In what chapter do you shut the fuck up in?
I have no time for stupid people. But they sure do have time for me.
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, but stays on purpose.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairy tale; once upon a time, I don't give a shit. The end.
Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.
I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
If you were a transformer you would be a hot-obot called Optimus Fine.
I am not good at giving advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
New anti depressant for lesbians... Trycoxagain
When I watch MTV Cribs, the feeling of guilt from illegally downloading songs goes away.
Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you weaker and weaker until it eventually kills you.
Love is just a word, until someone comes along and gives it meaning.
Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.
