Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
Accept what you can't change and change what you can't accept.
God made opposites. He made heaven and hell, darkness and light. He made me smart, and you....
Maturity is knowing when to be immature.
Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.
My biggest mistake is not kissing you when I had the chance.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
My wife says that I don't listen to her, or something like that.
Don't like me? Take a seat with the rest of the bitches waiting for me to give a fuck
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?
Dear Boyfriend, Your wallet was getting fat so I thought I'd take it out for some exercise. Sincerely, your Girlfriend.
Negativity is poison for the soul.
I'm not flirting, I'm just acting extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
Life is to SHORT, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
There are needs and there are wants. I need what I want.
How ironic is life. We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes
