Yeah, I'm single, but you're gonna have to be amazing to change that.
I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.
I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.
You can't define love, but love can define you.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
Your character is more accurately determined by what you say about others behind their backs.
To whom much is expected, much should be suspected.
I am not afraid of death, it's just that I prefer not to be there when it happens.
I'm killing time, waiting for time to kill me.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
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If you're lucky enough to be different, never change.
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
F that B.
Compromising is the same as losing, it just sucks more because winning was never in the deal.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Sneaking your seatbelt on slowly when you see a cop.
