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A girl just told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds for her birthday, I'm gettin her a deck of cards!

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He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.

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Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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Light up the world with your smile, because you never know who might be stuck somewhere dark.

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I'm not prejudiced, I hate everybody equally.

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You are not a winner, just the last loser standing.

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Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.

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Believe in yourself. If you don't, then no one else will have a reason to.

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True friends aren't bought, they are earned.

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The sacrifice of hiding in the light is living with your shadows.

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If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.

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Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesnt happen again.

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Don't make time for people who can't make time for you.

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24 hours in a day 24 beers in a case coincidence? I think not.

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I don't fail, I succeed in finding what does not work.

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The last thing I want to do is die.

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Chuck Norris once strangled someone with a cordless phone.

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Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

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Why don't you just swallow all that makeup you put on? You might become pretty on the inside.